What does “Feelings” have to do with God?

I stood in front of my kitchen sink and worshipped God as I washed our breakfast dishes. My husband was off from work but he was out taking my car to the mechanics. My youngest son Joel, slept securely in his crib; and I worshipped God. I worshipped Him because I was desperate for a new anointing, a deeper relationship, a higher calling. But I felt nothing. Only the desperation and hunger in my soul for a more intimate relationship with Him.

“Why can’t I feel something?” I thought in frustration, as soon the thought entered my mind I felt these words “what does feelings have to do with God?” I allowed my mind to skim through the many scriptures I’ve read over the years, to look more closely at all the great men in the Bible who did mighty things for God. The word “feeling” was NEVER mentioned only “Faith”.

It was then that I understood, “feelings” come and “feelings” go. If I should live by my feelings I would have no character, no self discipline and I would not have accomplished anything in my life because frankly sometimes I just don’t feel up to doing what I should.

My duty is to worship God, to praise Him for His excellent greatness. To thank Him for his unconditional love and his unending mercies. To believe that His words are forever established and what He says He will do, He will do. I may not “feel” His anointing every time I pray, but pray I must. I may not “feel” forgiven when I repent, but His words said “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

We have a duty to live for God when our bills are due and there is no money to pay them and when our spouse walks out on us and the children. Remember Job? When God wants to make us rapture ready, even our closest friend or family member will not understand. I’m learning more and more that God’s ways are not our ways. 

So I ask the question again: What does “feelings” have to do with God? My dear reader, please live your life for God and don’t be concerned about not “feeling” anything. Follow your orders like a good soldier and God will reward you in due season.


Remember This?


Okay, so it’s not the most expensive exercise machine, but Tony Little’s Gazelle is an amazing piece of equipment. When I would use it, I got quiet a workout. “Would Use”, being the important phrase in that sentence.

I just decided to do this post because I’m sitting here thinking how much weight I’ve gained and how on earth I’m going to lose it all before summer, Ha!!!

Seriously though, I feel so sluggish, my energy is at a record low and my skin looks horrible.  I have to start exercising again, so tomorrow I am getting back on that machine. Just wanted to get that out there to hold myself accountable.

Ironically, whenever I lay aside the weight of this world and begin to really seek after God, even the things I eat begin to convict me. The Holy Ghost filled body is truly the temple of God.  No wonder the Jews were given such strict dietary rules, God is interested in every area of our lives. So as I pray and delve into the word of God with a renewed passion and faith, I will also watch what I eat and (oh boy) exercise, there I said. Scary! 

Thanks for stopping by Apostolic Talk!

A call to prayer…

Women praying at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem

Today I’m just so in awe of Jesus. I don’t know why He loves me, but I’m so glad He does. I could write a long list of things that I’m not happy about, things I wish were different, but I wont because God has been good to me and my family. In spite of my failures (which are many), my inconsistencies and the fact that many times I do not behave myself in the manner befitting a King’s Kid; Jesus still loves me.

“What shall I render unto the LORD for all his benefits toward me?” (Psa 116:12) What can I do for my God or give to Him, to show Him that I’m grateful for His mercy, His grace and His unconditional love? I will “take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD” and I will share His love with those who do not know Him. (Psa 116:13) Because if our God needs anything, then it’s soul winners.

That’s what His goodness and His mercies have done for me, they’ve given me an overwhelming desire to live for Him; “the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance”. (Rom 2:4) Recently as I draw closer to God in prayer, naturally I feel a renewed calling to soul winning. I notice that every time I put aside the things of this world that scream for my attention and hide away in REAL prayer, I come out with a passion for souls. I have come to the conclusion that we cannot be really close to God and not share the love of His heart; souls.

So in the future, as I fight to stay committed to what really matters, I will be sharing more about soul winning. I encourage you, my dear readers, to give yourself fully to prayer. Set a time to meet with our Savior everyday and keep that appointment. Now is the time to pray! The adversary of our soul would like to distract us with the necessities of our life, but that’s not our concern – it’s God’s. We must PRAY!

As I consider the recent tragedy in Japan, I know that our time here is short. Jesus is coming soon. Saints of the most high God, let us focus on what is important. The signs of the times are everywhere. Look up! for our redemption draweth nigh!

Todays “Paula Nelson Hats” Post: The Lilly

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I am deeply saddened by the tragic happenings in Japan…

Because I do not have access to a television (by choice), most of what I know of the tragedy in Japan has been second hand information, still it has shaken me to the core. Today my husband is home from work and together we looked at some pictures on the computer. I was terrified to realize that it was much worst than I thought.

I seriously got teary eyed when I saw the devastation, my God! I have prayed for the people of Japan and our brothers and sisters in the Church, but I will most definitely continue to pray. I cannot imagine the horror of not being able to find one’s family, not knowing if your children are dead or alive.

As I look at my own children, safe and at arms length where I can hug them, my heart goes out to those moms who are crying for their lost babies. God is a miracle God, and I believe He will help the people of Japan through this difficult time. Please, let us not forget to mention them in our prayer time. If there was ever a time to pray, that time is now.

Happy Birthday Joel!


It’s hard to believe that just one year ago, I was undergoing a Caesarean Section. Today my youngest blessing Joel, is celebrating his first birthday.

Joel this is a tribute to you: When I first found out I was pregnant for the third time I was distraught! I was all ready to go back to work because both your brother and sister were starting school and we had big plans for the additional income. What a fool I was, I didn’t remember that I am a child of the King and all my steps are ordered by the Lord.

Your Dad however, recognized from the very beginning that you were a gift from the Lord. You see your Dad had just recommitted himself to the Lord and he knew that God was in control.

From the moment I laid eyes on you, I wept. I wept because God’s faithfulness was crystal clear, you were the most perfect and handsome baby boy, I wouldn’t let the nurses take you from my room, I wanted to keep you close and just get to know this blessing that had been growing in my womb for nine months. I read the bible to you continuously, I figured that was the best thing I had to offer you, the Word of God.

It was my privilege to nurse you exclusively (it was challenging, but we did it). I knew that breast milk was the best, and that’s all I wanted for you, the best. I watched you grow strong and healthy and we all loved you very much, your strong dad, your kind and protective brother Jonathan and your smart and beautiful sister Elizabeth .

From just a few days old I recognized your strength. As Jacobeth knew of Moses, so I knew of you, you are to be a special child. We named you Joel, which means “Jehovah is God”. You love to laugh, even when you are sick. I get so concerned, but then I look at you and you smile, as if to say “it’s going to be okay mom”.

My dream for you Joel, is that you will accept our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ at a tender age, and receive His precious Holy Ghost.  I will try to live a holy life, because God promised to protect the children of the righteous. As a mom, that’s the best thing I could do for you because the psalmist said “I was young but now I’m old and I never seen the righteous forsaken or his seed begging bread”.

There’s so much I want to say to you my son, but time will not allow me. Know this, that wherever you are, mommy’s praying for you, when trouble comes, mom’s praying for you, I will pray for you continuously, because I am your mother.

I love you Joel.